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| Holy Family Stained Glass Window Assumption Church Fairfield CT * |
It is appropriate that we
celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family right after Christmas. Not only do we
continue the narrative of the infancy of Christ but also at no time do families
come closer together than at Christmas. However, there is a dark side. We all
know that the Christmas season can strain and test family relationships.
Today's first reading from
the Book of Sirach can be summed up in the great commandment to "honor thy
father and mother." It would do us well to pay close attention to Sirach's
words. He tells us that the authority of a father and mother come from God, and
that it is ingrained in all of us. We would call it today a part of our genetic
makeup. To depart from this practice violates our very nature and will only
result in bitterness and unhappiness.
In our time when so many of
our parents can no longer take care of themselves, the words of Sirach are more
important than ever.
My
son, take care of your father when he is old;
grieve
him not as long as he lives.
Even
if his mind fail, be considerate of him;
revile
him not all the days of his life.
In our culture the roles of
father and mother have come increasingly under attack. Television and movies
usually portray fathers as ignorant simpletons or as brutal abusers. This only
reflects a culture where men casually urge their girl friends or wives to abort
their own children. That men should act as guardians and protectors of their
wives and children is now regarded as old fashioned and laughable.
Nevertheless, that was
precisely the role that Joseph played in today's story of the flight into
Egypt. Warned of the danger facing his little family, "Joseph rose and
took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt." The danger was real. Although we skip
over the passage in today's reading, Matthew tells us that the madman King
Herod had every male child under two years of age in Bethlehem and its nearby
towns put to death. We still call this the slaughter of the "Holy
Innocents."
The role of father and mother
is also the central theme of our passage today from St. Paul's letter to the
Colossians. How are we to understand this reading especially that controversial
passage where St. Paul says, "Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as
is proper in the Lord."
We could say that Paul, like
so many of his contemporaries, was a "sexist" who thought that women
were second class citizens. You could also say that since Paul never married,
he knew nothing about the actual relationship of a man and a woman in marriage
or the way they would arrange responsibility in a household even then.
However, you could also say
that Paul was dealing in this section with a very practical problem that had
arisen in the early Christian churches, especially among the Gentiles. It would
appear that the new faith was especially attractive to women. Scholars tell us
that in pagan families it was often the woman who first converted to
Christianity, and then subsequently brought their husbands and families into
the fold. This is not unusual even in our time.
However, there were cases
where the husband would not convert, and women in this situation wondered what
to do. Should they stay with their pagan husbands or should they leave? Paul
always urges them to remain faithful to their marriage vows. He knew that there
was no social safety net for these women outside of marriage but he also argued
that they would be better able to bring their husbands and families to believe
by remaining married.
Finally, I think you could
say that St. Paul is preaching a revolutionary new doctrine here. For a minute,
let's concentrate on his advice to the men. "Husbands, love your
wives." It is hard for us to realize that in the ancient world, love of a
husband for his wife was not the ideal. Our idea of a young couple falling in
love and dedicating their whole lives to one another was an alien idea in the
ancient world. At that time and for centuries after marriages were arranged
between families. A young woman or girl might only meet her future husband,
often an older man, for the first time at their engagement. A woman was little
more than a child bearing machine. If she could not bear children, her husband
was obligated to divorce her. As far as romantic feeling or sexual pleasure was
concerned, a man usually found that outside of the bonds of matrimony.
Despite today's popular
opinion, Christianity elevated the role of women not only in society but also
in the eyes of her husband. St. Paul understands the teaching of Christ to mean
that Christian men must give up their whole lives for their wives and families,
a rare thing in any time. Look at the first part of today's reading. St. Paul
is telling the Colossians and us to put on virtue in the same way we would put
on a suit of clothes. The relationship in a family should consist of
"heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."
A family built on these virtues won't have to worry about who's the boss.
Today's feast is not just
about "The Holy Family" but its about making our families holy.
And
over all these put on love,
that
is, the bond of perfection.
And
let the peace of Christ control your hearts,...
###
Reading 1. Sirach 3: 2-6, 12-14
Reading II. Colossians 3: 12-21
Gospel. Matthew 2:12-15, 19-23 (flight into Egypt).
*Image by Melissa DeStefano. Click on image to enlarge.









