Hardness of Heart

                      27th Sunday in Ordinary Time

                      B cycle

 

       

Today’s first reading from the Book of Genesis contains the familiar story of the union of the first man and woman. The ancient author notes that the union is so close, that the man and woman become as one person.

 

That is why a man leaves his father and mother

and clings to his wife,

and the two of them become one flesh. 

 

It is hard these days when so many marriages end in divorce to believe these words are still relevant. Most religious denominations have bowed to this reality and have come to accept the fact that marriages often fail. I even doubt if there is a Catholic today who has not known friends or family members who have gone through a divorce and subsequent re-marriage. 

 

Our readings today indicate that this is not just a modern problem. It seems apparent from our gospel that as far back as the time of Moses, Jewish marriages were not so indissoluble as the ideal set forth in the book of Genesis. In today’s gospel we find the Pharisees trying to trip Jesus up with a hard question. “Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?”

 

Jesus answers by asking them about the teaching of Moses. They replied that Moses allowed a man to simply fill out some paperwork to get rid of his wife and take another. So even though the Jews believed in the sanctity of marriage, they did have a loophole. Jesus claimed that even so great a leader as Moses had to give in and allow divorce because of their “hardness of heart.”

 

What is hardness of heart? Many years ago when I was a financial advisor I suggested to a female office worker that she start a retirement plan. She agreed but told me that her ex-husband had once been her retirement plan. She had worked so that he could go to school and get his Ph.D., but when he became a superintendent of schools, he dumped her for a young secretary.

 

I believe that my client’s situation was what Jesus was criticizing in today’s gospel when he said “what God has joined together, no man must separate.” I know our modern translation uses “human being” instead of “man” but Jesus was critical of a practice that mainly benefitted men. I know that divorce can be more complicated in our day and age, but back then it appears that a man just had to get some official to ratify his intention to put away one wife for another.

 

In today’s gospel Jesus repeats the words found in Genesis about a man leaving his father and mother and clinging to his wife. In other words, a true marriage means leaving your past life behind and embarking on a new one with your spouse. Even one’s closest family and friends must be subordinate to the needs on one another. In effect, each partner gives up their own individual life and commits to a shared life.

 

A true marriage is all about self-sacrifice and not selfishness. A husband who constantly retreats into his man cave or a wife who regularly goes out drinking with her girlfriends can be suffering from hardness of heart. The Pope was right to suggest that such marriages may not be true marriages at all. 

 

Of the seven sacraments, marriage is the only one that does not require a bishop or priest to administer. The Church has always recognized that the man and woman are the official ministers of the sacrament. They are not married by a priest; they marry each other with an exchange of vows. They enter into marriage freely and it is up to them to make it work. It is a truly beautiful thing to see an elderly couple walking down the street hand in hand or arm in arm after many years of marriage.

 

On the other hand, I have seen many marriages end with real hardness of heart. I have seen people who have come to literally hate and despise their former partners. In these cases, the spiritual union was shattered long before a judge has officially terminated the marriage. These people carry a heavy burden.

 

Yet, I have also seen couples who separate with only a minimum of anger and bitterness. They meet their obligations, work together to share custody of children and get on with their lives. I do not believe that Jesus was talking about these people. He was all about forgiveness and compassion and said that his yoke was easy and his burden light. 

 

We know that the disciples of the Lord regarded words such as the ones we heard in today’s gospel as hard words, difficult to understand. Jesus told them that they would have to become like children to understand. 

 

Amen, I say to you,

whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child

will not enter it.

 

When I was a child, I believed that divorce was the worst thing that could possibly happen. The idea of my mother and father splitting up was unthinkable. Now I see that hardness of heart is even worse. Like children we must believe that with God all things are possible.

 

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Reading 1.  Genesis 2: 18-24

Reading II. Hebrews 2: 9-11

Gospel. Mark 10: 2-16 (hardness of heart)  

The Bread of Life

                                    21st Sunday in Ordinary Time

                                   

          

In today’s first reading Joshua, the successor of Moses, presents the people of Israel with a choice.

If it does not please you to serve the Lord,Decide today whom you will serve,The gods your fathers served beyond the RiverOr the gods of the Amorites in whose country you are now dwelling.

Today, Joshua might have included the gods of the Americans that we are all being asked to serve. We may not think of them as gods in the old-fashioned sense but we are being tempted every day to turn away from the Lord and our values in the service of things that are strange and alien. Just like the people in Joshua’s time, we have to make a very important choice.

In today’s gospel reading Jesus also presents his followers with a choice. This year most of the gospel readings are from the Gospel of Mark. But since that gospel is so short, the Church supplements it with the long passage from the Gospel of John that is often called the “bread of life” discourse. It seems like all summer Jesus has been talking about the living bread that will give eternal life, and not just food for a day.

In last week’s gospel Jesus had said,

Amen, amen, I say to you,Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his bloodYou do not have life within you….Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died,Whoever eats this bread will live forever.

These words, coming right before the start of today’s gospel passage, were the ones the disciples found so shocking. This was the saying they murmured about. They said, “this saying is hard, who can accept it?” The disciples have not been the only ones to find this saying hard to believe. Not only is it hard to believe that Jesus would give his body and blood for us on the Cross, but also it is hard to believe that right before his Passion, he would give us his body and blood in the Eucharist.

So today while so many people are coming to the Eucharist all over the world and sometimes even being persecuted for their belief, many are turning away because it is hard, and all that goes with it, is hard to accept. One of the things that many find hard to accept is the passage from St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians that we heard today about husbands and wives. How are we to understand this reading especially that controversial passage where St. Paul says, "Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord."

We could say that Paul, like so many of his contemporaries, was a "sexist" who thought that women were second-class citizens. You could also say that since Paul never married, he knew nothing about the actual relationship of a man and a woman in marriage or the way they would arrange responsibility in a household even then.

However, you could also say that Paul was dealing in this section with a very practical problem that had arisen in the early Christian churches, especially among the Gentiles. It would appear that the new faith was especially attractive to women. Scholars tell us that in pagan families it was often the woman who first converted to Christianity, and then subsequently brought their husbands and families into the fold. This is not unusual even in our time.

However, there were cases where the husband would not convert, and women in this situation wondered what to do. Should they stay with their pagan husbands or should they leave? Paul always urges them to remain faithful to their marriage vows. He knew that there was no social safety net for these women outside of marriage but he also argued that they would be better able to bring their husbands and families to believe by remaining married.

Finally, I think you could say that St. Paul is preaching a revolutionary new doctrine here. Let's concentrate on his advice to the men. "Husbands, love your wives." It is hard for us to realize that in the ancient world, love of a husband for his wife was not the ideal. Our idea of a young couple falling in love and dedicating their whole lives to one another was an alien idea in the ancient world. At that time and for centuries after marriages were arranged between families. A young woman or girl might only meet her future husband, often an older man, for the first time at their engagement. A woman was little more than a childbearing machine. If she could not bear children, her husband was obligated to divorce her. As far as romantic feeling or sexual pleasure was concerned, a man usually found that outside of the bonds of matrimony.

Despite today's popular opinion, Christianity elevated the role of women not only in society but also in the eyes of her husband. St. Paul understands the teaching of Christ to mean that Christian men must give up their whole lives for their wives and families, a rare thing in any time. Today, one would have to be blind not to see that so many men have given up on even the thought of marriage and the self-sacrificing love it demands.

Despite our material wealth and possessions we all, young and old, male and female, will still have to face a choice similar to that faced by the Israelites in the desert at the time of Moses, or the disciples in the time of Jesus. Who or what will we serve. Who or what will we pledge our allegiance to?

Joshua said, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” When many of the disciples left Jesus and turned their backs on the bread of life, He asked the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?”

St. Peter’s response is a guide for all of us:

Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

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Reading 1.  Joshua 24: 1-2a, 15-17, 18b

Reading II. Ephesians 5: 21-32

Gospel. John 6: 60-69 (to whom shall we go?)